Since I was just a kid, my dad always used to beat me up. And there I started to think of getting away from home. Hmm..yes home. Actually I don’t think that as a “home”. ‘Coz I know that a home compose of a happy family. So I guess you get what I mean.

It’s been 2 years that I’m away from home. Away from my father. Since my mom and I moved in Manila, we seldom communicate with him. It’s our chance to get away. Get away from a broken home. A misery life.

Last Christmas (since it’s a season of love), I texted him that I will send him money for his medicines. However, I wasn’t able to send the money due to some valid reasons. So, today is his birthday. I know he’s upset, ‘coz he thought I didn’t remember his birthday. I’m confused. My conscience is bugging me. I don’t know if I’m going to greet him or something. It’s just, when he felt that I forgive him, he’ll grab the chance to be with us (which I don’t want to happen). Am I a bad daughter?

It’s just that I don’t want my mom to suffer(again) and so am I. We suffered for several years with him, but now I want to forgive him whether he changed or not. BUT, I’m still not ready for letting him come into our life. Together with my mom, we’re having a better and peaceful life now. (Hope you understand the feeling)

He’s been a bad husband and a father. But somehow, there’s still goodness on him. I know he’s sick and he needs moral and financial support. BUT, he has his own family now. With his ”mistress” and kids. My goodness, I really don’t know what to do. My conscience keeps on bugging me!

This entry was witten by sunshine, posted on Thursday, January 21st, 2010 at 10:18 am and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.