Peek On My Closet

When you yell out of me I feel disrespected and so ashamed that I just want to runaway and disappear. I’m a woman who understands a single sentence. You don’t have to repeat and shout over and over. You disgraced me in front of other people and most especially to my family. I know I owe you an apology because I caused your lunacy but you also owe me one when you have treated me that way.

I don’t deserve to be insulted and every time you’re one hell of a mad guy you seem to hurt me through and through. FYI: It’s countless already. Are you not aware that you have been very rude to me? Huh…

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I’m so happy and proud that it’s already my fourth week at Curves! I’m still in love with the workout especially with the Zumba class. Yesterday I took the regular circuit then Zumba right after and being part of my addiction I enrolled for 10 classes. Members of Curves can have it for only 1,000 pesos and Non Members for 2,000 pesos. I know it’s a bit costly for me but in the name of fitness and losing weight I had to spend some bucks to it. Aja!!!!

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There are certain things in every relationship that changes..mostly the love for each other..there’s no guarantee that after few or long years of being on a relationship means forever….some might not notice it but some felt the excruciating feeling in it..nothing’s permanent…things can’t always stay the same…it evolves…it changes..and if this will happen to a relationship there’s no other choice but to accept the fact that people change as well as their feelings….believe me it’s way better than keeping yourself blinded..we got to deal and live with it…that’s the darn reality…we can’t be sure that we can keep a relationship without any changes even we gave/give our 100%..yeah i know it is unfair but we got to give it all so there won’t be any regrets in the end.remember there’s no perfect relationship..fairytales only happen in the movies…anyways on the side note i’m being positive while writing this post but some playful thoughts keep on bothering me….the what if’s….like what if this change is currently working in our relationship..could i stand it??? there are some instances now that i noticed to be alarming…as far as i can remember he always care for me whenever i’m sick or having some problems with health but now it’s not clear if he still cares or not…whatever that is i’ll just hold on with my trust and love for him…as what i’ve said DEAL WITH IT….

First Stage: This phase is called the “Courting” stage. When a boy likes girl then he would do things that would attract the girl’s attention like sending sweet text messages or emails, or giving her flowers or chocolates. In other words, he’s being pathetically romantic. Boy promises a lot. So when girl finally likes boy and she already loves him then they’re stepping in to Stage two.

Second Stage: They already build a relationship and during the first few months or weeks of relationship the love birds hopelessly devoted to each other. They’re spending a lot of time together, exchange of warm hugs and sweet kisses. The three words “I love you” are often used.

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With all the pain and qualms I’m going through these days I realize one thing. I should not worry about putting so much effort in our relationship like sending him “sweet” graphical quotes or even surprising him on our Anniversary. Why? Because it’s one way of reminding him that I still “exist” (That Hey! I’m your girlfriend).

Well maybe there are times that he might forget the sweet moments we had, so giving these kinds of efforts have nothing to worry about. And if time comes that he can find somebody else (knock on the wood) I won’t have regrets. At least I have given him all that I have. Love, Care, Understanding, Everything! Continue reading

To my dearest,

Thank you for the wonderful relationship you shared with me. I deeply appreciate those simple but meaningful things that you have done/doing. Spending weekends in my place is such a big effort for you. It sounds sacrificial because instead of enjoying your personal time you still prefer to enjoy it with me. And also the fact that our place is far away from you it’s pretty sacrificial.

Despite these beautiful things, there are times that you offensively upset me (in so many ways and times already). Well, that’s the fucking reality. There is no such perfect relationship or lovers. I hope there won’t come a time that the efforts will have a dead end. That you won’t get tired. I’m scared.

I know I’ve been very stupid of being too dependent on you throughout these years. Is that a bad thing? Just like the song “too much love will kill you”. Well I guess it is true. Too much of anything is bad. We’ll see how far this love will take us if it will be forever or not. We’ll see. (Fingers crossed)

Today he called, but then I said I’ll call him later. And then when I called his colleague answered, “He won’t bother to talk to me”. I was wondering why, and then later on he handed the phone to “him”. He was cold. It’s like Q&A. One question one answer. No more discussions or sweet nothings. I said “I love you” he said nothing… I told him I missed him, silence is his answer. It’s pretty obvious that he’s up to something but I don’t know what the heck it is. I left a YM message for him and asked him again and he said very shortly “Ok lang honey ko”. I know there’s an endearment to it but I can feel it. I’m not sure if I just being paranoid but I know there is something…. Something that I could afraid of. I have these thoughts in my head, but as much as possible I should NOT entertain them. I know he’s into crucial stage wherein he’s coping up with what happened to his family, and so I can’t do anything but just go with the flow and confer the best support I could give.

Hopefully, things will be better for us…for both of us..

Just want to re post the one that I have wrote before in my other personal space rodessa.wordpress.com…. I’m just happy that lots of men and women responded to this post..

At first, I’m a bit curious on what is really the essence of being in a pseudo relationship until I’m on that stage. Pseudo relationship is the “Parang kami pero hindi” relationship. It’s a kind of relationship wherein you you hang out together, you exchange sweet nothings, you email,chat,text to each other often, and even sex! BUT there is no commitment, NO attachment. The risky part of this relationship is that, when you fall for a guy/girl. You don’t have a security that he/she’s all yours and you don’t even know if that person also feel the same way. Jealousy comes next if you already have feelings for that certain person. Before you enter into this kind of relationship, be sure of the consequences. Are you sure you can avoid not to fall for that guy/girl? How sure are you? Do you even think of getting hurt? Well, I’ve been into that crappy relationship and it really sucks! Sa umpisa lang ang masaya, sa umpisa lang din ang feeling na mahal ka niya. Being on this kind of situation, make sure, you’re ready to play the game. Try not to be the LOSER.

Here’s the original link: http://rodessa.wordpress.com/2008/05/08/pseudo-relationship-what-is-it/