my evil thoughts are killing me night after night..lots of suspicious accusations behind my back..lots of grey feelings..forcing my brain to draw beautiful and happy images makes me feel at ease whenever i feel this effin paranoia..getting nuts sometimes makes me realize i’m only human…and so as my partner….damn!
WTF I feel so incompetent today. Two escalations in a row are not good. I know I shouldn’t get bothered but I can’t help it. I feel so dumb and worthless to be part of this team. I’m trying hard (well doing the best I can) to fit in. But there are times that I get slipped. I’m only human (in tagalong, TAO lang ako). I’m not perfect and I do fail (rarely) and even softwares or systems also have bugs. Nothing and no one is perfect. People can sometimes be vulnerable to mistakes it’s just that it depends on what we can learn out of it. It’s just a bad day…. Ugghhhh…
Some people are unconscious on the torment and contentment of life. They seemed to be tranquil and forgot to sober the realities. Constantly keep on the safe side that they don’t even try to defy themselves into something new. Are you one of them? Hmmm well, If reality bites you pieces by pieces you would realize that you need to get out of your shelf and keen to take the risks to be able to challenge yourself if how far can you go. In other words you have to move out from your comfort zone.
Taking risks and facing the vindictive reality can be the worse regrets of your life. But what if you’re wrong? What if these things will make you a better person? And what if you fail? Well there’s always second chances. Trying new things is not bad at all. Isn’t it? I know there is danger but once you understand and love what you are doing it’s worth a try. Trust me. Been there; done that.
I don’t like shoes..and I don’t like taking photos of them and my legs.haha
I’m so happy and proud that it’s already my fourth week at Curves! I’m still in love with the workout especially with the Zumba class. Yesterday I took the regular circuit then Zumba right after and being part of my addiction I enrolled for 10 classes. Members of Curves can have it for only 1,000 pesos and Non Members for 2,000 pesos. I know it’s a bit costly for me but in the name of fitness and losing weight I had to spend some bucks to it. Aja!!!!
There are certain things in every relationship that changes..mostly the love for each other..there’s no guarantee that after few or long years of being on a relationship means forever….some might not notice it but some felt the excruciating feeling in it..nothing’s permanent…things can’t always stay the same…it evolves…it changes..and if this will happen to a relationship there’s no other choice but to accept the fact that people change as well as their feelings….believe me it’s way better than keeping yourself blinded..we got to deal and live with it…that’s the darn reality…we can’t be sure that we can keep a relationship without any changes even we gave/give our 100%..yeah i know it is unfair but we got to give it all so there won’t be any regrets in the end.remember there’s no perfect relationship..fairytales only happen in the movies…anyways on the side note i’m being positive while writing this post but some playful thoughts keep on bothering me….the what if’s….like what if this change is currently working in our relationship..could i stand it??? there are some instances now that i noticed to be alarming…as far as i can remember he always care for me whenever i’m sick or having some problems with health but now it’s not clear if he still cares or not…whatever that is i’ll just hold on with my trust and love for him…as what i’ve said DEAL WITH IT….
Mom and I are in the jeepney heading somewhere and out of the blue you came in with the girl and she sit right next to you. She’s slimmer than I am, she’s prettier? (nah I don’t think so), she had this gesture that I usually do whenever we are together and you were so sweet and as if she is your girlfriend…then out of the blue you said you had to break up with me because you found somebody else….I cried and cried until I feel the excruciating feeling that entail to kill me… then there after my alarm rang and I realize that it’s the worst nightmare so far. Face is wet out of tears and my heart beats slower than the usual. It scares the hell out of me. This is the second time that I dreamt of you on someone’s arms. Does this mean something? Or I’m just being paranoid. Such a weird dream
Boyfie decided to spoil mama for awhile so last Holy Week (April 21 – 23, 2011) mom, boyfie and I together with Mary Rose (my cousin) and Jay ar (boyfie’s cousin) have gone to Baguio for a vacation. It’s quite stressful because of the long trip but we managed to enjoy and make ourselves comfortable with the weather (which is good by the way). We went (again) to Burnham Park, then to Strawberry Farm, The Mansion, Mines View Park, Camp John Hay, and Good Shepherd Convent.
Two weeks ago I had a free trial session at Curves (Serendra, BGC). At first I’m hesitant to try it out because of the fear that I might not like it. After reading some reviews and info on their website I find it interesting because it’s kinda different to some of the workouts I have tried out. The machines are placed in a circular pattern and in between those machines they have a square mat. The purpose is mainly to workout with the machine and cools down in the mat.
Another alluring thing about Curves is that they have Zumba classes. It’s a mix of Zumba and the regular Curves Circuit workout. So what is Zumba? It’s a dance actually. Mix of Latin, Samba, Cha-cha, etc,. Smokin hot huh!